I’ll use the perfect answer New York Times Motherlode blogger Lisa Belkin included in a post: “I love both my boys equally…But I like them differently, and for different reasons, and at different times.”
I just read a book titled "I love you the purplest" by Barbara M. Joose.
Two young brothers head out with their mother in a rowboat for an evening of fishing. They ask her to tell them who is better at each different task. As she tucks them into bed that night, they ask whom she loves the best??
To the jubilant Max she loves the "reddest"..."I love you the color of the sky before it blazes into night.
I love you the color of a leopard’s eyes when it prowls through the jungle, and the color of a campfire at the edge of the flame. A wide open hug. The swirl of a magic cape. The thunder of a shout."
To the quiet Julian she loves the "bluest"...
"I love you the color of a dragon fly at the tip of its wing. I love you the color of a cave in its deepest, hidden part where grizzly bears and bats curl up until night. The mist of a mountain. The splash of a waterfall. The hush of a whisper."
Together she loves both her boys the "purplest"!!!
Every child holds a special place in a parent's heart. As much as I don't like people commenting that I dote on Renzo more, I know sibling rivalry is pretty inevitable at this stage because Renzo needs a lot more attention and affirmation now, whereas Rynus doesn't know how to express himself much although I believe he knows what's going on for sure. I do have an immense sense of guilt towards Rynus because of many reasons. When Daddy suggested to plan for 2nd child, I told him that I rather have just one Renzo so to be able to provide him with the best we have. Honestly I couldn't have imagined how much joy and laughter I would have missed if we didn't even try for Rynus. Then I changed my mind and brought the plan forward due to my career commitment, when I knew that all of us have to crash with my in-laws till Rynus turns one, while waiting for our new house to be fully built and ready for moving in. If I could be not as career minded, and have waited a little longer till we move out, we shouldn't have felt stressed out during my confinement month, and discussed countless times about whether to rent a house or not after noticing the boys couldn't sleep well in the same room due to all the night feedings and disturbances. Again due to work commitment, I returned to office after 2 months of maternity leave and left my merely 2 months old boy to helper at home the whole day. I often feel that Rynus is not as attentive and curious to surroundings as Renzo but when Renzo was a baby, I worked from home and took care of him till he was 8 months old. I sang 10 different lullabies more than 20 times in a day to Renzo but probably not even once to Rynus in one week.
Rynus is indeed a very strong and chubby baby but he fell terribly sick for at least 3 times and even stayed in hospital for 3 days when he was only 3 months. If only we could have a place of our own, we could separate the 2 boys in different rooms, and Rynus shouldn't have caught the flu bug that easily from Renzo who's time at the childcare center exposes him to all sorts of virus and bacterias. I know one day, if Rynus replies me with "okie dokie artichokie!!" when I say "I love you, Rynus!"; if Rynus hides under the blanket and asks me to check "Where is my Rynus?"; if Rynus gives one of his only two grapes to me and insists only Mummy can eat that, my heart will surely melt as those are the things Renzo always does with me.
But even if Rynus is not doing all these to me, I still love him "the purplest" and the most special feeling he's brought to me, is that when I had Daddy Chan, I felt I was lucky, when I had Renzo Chan, I felt I was blessed, and when I had Rynus Chan, I felt that my life is finally complete!!
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