first salon haircut for baby Rynus

We decided to bring Rynus for his first hair cut at the salon together with Renzo, because we have booked a baby photoshooting session with BabyU studio in April, so before that, we want to give him a nicer hair cut as he's only had it once, at home, done by mummy. And I feel extremely embarrassed when people ask, "Mummy cut hair for you is it?", that proves how clumsy my skill is.

So we went to this kids salon we frequent most at Tampines one, and it's pretty amazing to find out how many parents are willing to pay $20 bucks, even for a 9 months old baby.

The salon was sardine-packed with kids and parents, as well as maids and even grandparents. And coincidentally, we met all BOYS only during that 40 minutes visit and not to our surprise, we saw them cry and scream like nobody's business while having their haircut.

I have no idea why, but it's 100% true that boys are way more "protective" over their hair/head as compared to girls. We had to help out by entertaining a few of them in order for the hairdressers to finish their cutting. Renzo is a "regular customer" there and despite a little whines when he heard the sound of the razor, he was extremely cooperative and again, he requested for his "favorite" Chuggington train DVD. Yes apparently his favorite is still Thomas train and he only requests to watch Chuggington at this salon during haircut, call him the single-minded boy!!

Then it's Rynus' turn. I was extremely confident that he's not going to cry like other boys although he's the youngest there. I don't know why I was that confident, maybe it's his character, he seldom cries unless he's not able to get what he wants; he's more sociable especially compared to Renzo, most of the time he's not afraid of strangers; and when I cut his hair at home a few months ago, I made sure that he was wide awake and well entertained. Alright in the past, we had to seriously "make plans" to cut Renzo's hair and only when he's in deep sleep. So I decided to let Rynus have his haircut when he's awake, maybe that helps as in a way, he knows what to expect.

Our helper, Rynus' auntie Jonalyn carried him on her laps, and he didn't make much noise although he gave us a little trouble by trying to stare at the hairdresser and snatch her scissors. But overall, it's a swift and smooth experience. I know it's not a big deal but we are really proud of our baby Rynus!!

why not another baby girl??

Five years ago, before I was pregnant with Renzo, a great friend of mine from the Netherlands with 3 lovely daughters said to me:"Looking at my neighbors' 2 super active boys running around the backyard, I feel blessed that I have 3 girls!!" At that moment, I couldn't agree more with him. And during my pregnancy, my gynae even joked with us that "A daughter is a daughter for life, a son is a son till he's married!"..

After having my 2 boys, many people ask me this same question again and again: "Do you plan to try for another girl?".

I know some of them are just asking that for the fun of it; some of them are just curious to know if a mother of 2 sons really wish to have a girl; some of them, just prefer to have both boys and girls in a family, and, some of them, somehow, just believe girls are more filial to the parents when they grow up and it's a pity that I do not have any daughter.

Girls are more filial than boys? Is that really true? I came from a family with just 2 girls (my twin sister and I) so I can't really answer for that. But yes to certain extend, I know boys are girls are very different when comes to family relationship, but I personally think to have a filial child or not, it all depends on family upbringing and environment.

My sister has 2 girls and I hear often from her on how sweet her elder one treats her every time. But honestly, I have my Renzo boy who wraps me up with his blanket when he thinks I am cold; who tells me "YOU" when I look into his eyes and ask what is he thinking; who says he wants to marry me and buy me a big diamond when he grows taller and stronger; who asks if he could help me tie my hair because he wants me to be pretty; and who gets "angry" with his little brother for being naughty when Rynus accidentally hits me with his toys. And for Rynus boy, although he's just a 9 months old baby who doesn't know how to express himself, he puts up the brightest smile everyday when I walk towards him; he calls me "ma, ma" when I step away from his cot without carrying him up; he laughs in my arms when I feed him milk at 3am every morning; and he hides under my arms when other people want to carry him when I bring him for daily stroll before going to work... Aren't these great enough? Someone says but, once they get married, it's a totally different story! Well to be honest, I will be more than glad when one day my boys could treat their wives this way, that will be the time I could stop worrying for them as a mother and my husband and I could enjoy our own couple time again!

So do I want another girl? Nope, I said in my previous post that my life is complete with my 2 boys, and I really meant it. I don't have to defense my answer by listing my concerns about my age, my career, my finances, my chance of conceiving a baby girl, my ability to get a good caregiver or provide a good life for a 3rd one. It's not that I don't like girls, but I will never consider having another girl just because many people think girls will take better care of their aging parents.

Come on, let's face the fact, my husband is the one and only one person in this world, who supposed to spend a life time with me, not my parents, not my children, not anybody else. If the reason of having kids is so that I can depend on them when I get old, honestly, don't have kids then!! Save up the amount of $$ I have to spend on kids, and I can jolly well enjoy an extremely luxurious life at retirement age, or better, I might be able to even retire early. The amount of time, money and efforts spent on raising up a kid is really beyond imagination, and calculation! But once they grow up, they will have their own lives and as parents, we only wish that the boys could grow up together with brotherly love for each other, have good health, successful career and most importantly, a harmonious family of their own!

Parents with kids of same gender might have this stereotyped image of always wanting another one of opposite sex, but in actual fact, we just enjoy and appreciate our own kids as the best gifts in the world, and it's indeed easier to bring them up as we are more experienced and for our kids, they can play well together as they are likely to share similar interest especially during their childhood time. 

I love you both perpetually my Renzo and Rynus boy with all my heart, and 100% unconditionally!!

Baby Rynus, you've made my life complete..

Many people asked if I favor our methodical but shy Renzo over our apathetic but easy Rynus?? Even my mother-in-law questioned me a few times after seeing me behaving extremely calm after I delivered Rynus, but cried like a baby when Renzo visited me and his new born brother in hospital on that very same day.

I’ll use the perfect answer New York Times Motherlode blogger Lisa Belkin included in a post: “I love both my boys equally…But I like them differently, and for different reasons, and at different times.”

I just read a book titled "I love you the purplest" by Barbara M. Joose.

Two young brothers head out with their mother in a rowboat for an evening of fishing. They ask her to tell them who is better at each different task. As she tucks them into bed that night, they ask whom she loves the best??

To the jubilant Max she loves the "reddest"...
"I love you the color of the sky before it blazes into night.
I love you the color of a leopard’s eyes when it prowls through the jungle, and the color of a campfire at the edge of the flame. A wide open hug. The swirl of a magic cape. The thunder of a shout."

To the quiet Julian she loves the "bluest"...
"I love you the color of a dragon fly at the tip of its wing. I love you the color of a cave in its deepest, hidden part where grizzly bears and bats curl up until night. The mist of a mountain. The splash of a waterfall. The hush of a whisper."

Together she loves both her boys the "purplest"!!!

Every child holds a special place in a parent's heart. As much as I don't like people commenting that I dote on Renzo more, I know sibling rivalry is pretty inevitable at this stage because Renzo needs a lot more attention and affirmation now, whereas Rynus doesn't know how to express himself much although I believe he knows what's going on for sure.

I do have an immense sense of guilt towards Rynus because of many reasons. When Daddy suggested to plan for 2nd child, I told him that I rather have just one Renzo so to be able to provide him with the best we have. Honestly I couldn't have imagined how much joy and laughter I would have missed if we didn't even try for Rynus. Then I changed my mind and brought the plan forward due to my career commitment, when I knew that all of us have to crash with my in-laws till Rynus turns one, while waiting for our new house to be fully built and ready for moving in. If I could be not as career minded, and have waited a little longer till we move out, we shouldn't have felt stressed out during my confinement month, and discussed countless times about whether to rent a house or not after noticing the boys couldn't sleep well in the same room due to all the night feedings and disturbances. Again due to work commitment, I returned to office after 2 months of maternity leave and left my merely 2 months old boy to helper at home the whole day. I often feel that Rynus is not as attentive and curious to surroundings as Renzo but when Renzo was a baby, I worked from home and took care of him till he was 8 months old. I sang 10 different lullabies more than 20 times in a day to Renzo but probably not even once to Rynus in one week.
Rynus is indeed a very strong and chubby baby but he fell terribly sick for at least 3 times and even stayed in hospital for 3 days when he was only 3 months. If only we could have a place of our own, we could separate the 2 boys in different rooms, and Rynus shouldn't have caught the flu bug that easily from Renzo who's time at the childcare center exposes him to all sorts of virus and bacterias.

I know one day, if Rynus replies me with "okie dokie artichokie!!" when I say "I love you, Rynus!"; if Rynus hides under the blanket and asks me to check "Where is my Rynus?"; if Rynus gives one of his only two grapes to me and insists only Mummy can eat that, my heart will surely melt as those are the things Renzo always does with me.

But even if Rynus is not doing all these to me, I still love him "the purplest" and the most special feeling he's brought to me, is that when I had Daddy Chan, I felt I was lucky, when I had Renzo Chan, I felt I was blessed, and when I had Rynus Chan, I felt that my life is finally complete!!