About 5 years ago, I wrote a post with this exact same title "All about sleeping through the night" , sharing the struggles we had to sleep train Renzo. For Rynus, I almost couldn't recall much details about his first 1-2 years of sleep training experience. I only remember during my confinement after I delivered Rynus, my sister was joyfully sharing her great experience training her new born (my younger niece who's only 5 days younger than Rynus), by following some famous Gina Ford methods. Trust me, I was really depressed after trying the same method but failed again and again. It didn't help at all when Renzo was still waking up once a night during that period. It's totally no fun for a sleep deprived mom to juggle 2 boys at midnight, and not to mention I need to ensure I don't mess up their feeds, yes both are on the same brand of formula milk but different stages, how challenging is that?!When Rynus turned one month old, Renzo finally stopped waking up but I knew it's still a long battle to fight with Rynus for sure. I was already counting my blessing because he's easy to handle than Renzo, at least he has 2 naps during the day although nightwaking is a must too, of course not as frequent as Renzo. So I told myself he probably will be able to sleep through earlier than Renzo. In any case, I know many people will suggest the "cry it out" method, I know, I've been there, done that. And though I have absolutely no problem coping with night wake ups and busy work schedule next day (I have this amazing ability to fall asleep fast, by fast I meant "counting from 1 to 6" or "singing from A to S", sounds fun right? Not so when I was asked to count or sing to the boys after lights off time, because they have to definitely wake me up as I never fail to coax MYSELF to sleep with my counting or singing), I do have bad headache (luckily morning coffee helps) after more than 5 years of interrupted sleeps.
I admit that at times I have wondered whether I could continue in my efforts to never sleep train my kids. I don't think we should all joyfully leap out of our beds a million times a night to attend to our crying kids, and I am all for gentle ways to encourage our babies to sleep better (cry it out is not a gentle way under my definition). My kids are left to sleep alone in the cot, I am in the same room with them but I never like to coax them to sleep. And pacifier or rocker are not something for my kids as I simply don't want to use them though I understand they work wonders for many other kids. Just that, I don't think when we sign up for parenthood, we can expect to be excused from our responsibility to our children between the night hours of 7pm and 7am. We spend the whole time bonding and connecting with our kids, so why only test that attachment to its absolute limit at night?
So yes, I am with all the moms whose kids could not sleep through the night. I take it as a great bonding opportunity with kids especially for breastfeeding moms, and all along I believe it's a stage they will outgrow sooner or later, once they are physiologically and physically ready. I always say, in no time they won't even let you hug and carry, so for now, just embrace and enjoy, what's so bad about that?! But recently I had a talk with my mummy friends, one of them shared about some Primary 1 kid waking up for milk at night, which was a real wake up call to me (I seriously need to thank this friend of mine who gave me candid advice, you will know why shortly).After that conversation, I talked to Rynus about his night feeds. Well as usual he looked confused and not knowing what I was talking about, though he cheerfully nodded his head and agreed that he's big enough and should not wake up for milk at night.
The first night, I replaced his milk with water when he woke up as the usual 2am+. He threw away his milk bottle and screamed "I don't want this!!", "Milk!! I want milk mummy!!". I pat his back and told him no more milk at night please and he cried to sleep back. The crying lasted for just a few seconds. When he was put on the "cry it out" method as a baby, his cry was prolonged, distressed so there's a huge difference here and that's probably what I meant by "psychologically and physically ready". Yes I took that short few seconds of fussing as a sign that Rynus is ready to be off the milk bottle at night. And he woke up again at about 5am and this time I didn't even give him his milk bottle. A gentle pat on his back made him fall back to sleep again.
2nd night, all I need to do was just to pat him..
3rd night, he didn't even wake up..
So indeed, Rynus managed to sleep through earlier than Renzo, alright 2 years 7 months vs. 2 years 10 months, not much a difference, I know...
And just for the benefits of parents out there who are still struggling with night feeds for older kids, probably 2 years and above, I must say there should be only 2 reasons why your kid is still waking up for milk at night (based on my pretty much
1. Your kid is hungry.
Check if they are eating well.
Mine often don't. Indeed Rynus has been asking for milk frequently during the day. And I always just give in to his request on the weekends as he's in full day childcare during weekdays, and school teachers only give them 1 feed during afternoon naps. My reason is because, he is not taking solid well. But indeed it could be a chicken and egg thing. Because he's taking enough milk that's why he is rejecting solid food. And I think kids like him might all have the same problem, they might be chewing well (I can tell from the way he munching on his apple or biscuits), but they just prefer softer food, and to them, milk is definitely the easiest "food" to handle, not to mention it tastes good (sweet) all the time. So if you can't address their night feeds problem, fix their eating habit first. I resorted to feeding Rynus his dinner (soup with rice as he's still rejecting other food) though he can self feed well since a year ago. I know I am going backwards but hey, at least he's eating again this way and it helps with sleep training him at night, so why not?!Rynus used to eat very well, I still believe it's just a growing up phase because Renzo experienced the same "rejecting food" period for a year. Of course you can say I am finding excuses for my kids, I am a mom who takes cues from my kids and I am soft-hearted anyway, you know that!
2. It's a habit.
Yes it's a habit of the kid, but probably we parents are the ones who encouraged that.
If Rynus is able to sleep through in just 3 days, likely, he's not hungry, he's just waking up as that's his habit. And since we allowed it, so why not?
By admitting to this, I am not saying let's all start to correct our kids' "bad" habit. I am saying I want to thank my friend who gave me that wake up call because otherwise, I might not even know indeed Rynus is ready to sleep through. And for those parents who think sleep training is not going to work because "I tried that before", maybe it's like our case - tried it LONGggg before. Who knows your kid might be ready to sleep through but just waking up for the sake of waking up? So if you have made attempts 6 months ago but to no avail, maybe it's time to give it a shot again. And now, it's time for me, an all time sleep-deprived full time working mummy, to enjoy some good un-interrupted beauty sleeps, after a whooping 5 years 5 months, FINALLY!!
