Cost of having baby Rynus

Rynus' Godpa, Renzo's uncle Zheng Cheng, oh yah apparently our 2 little boys do not share the same Godpa for God knows (well Daddy should know though) what reason, has been visiting baby Rynus pretty often and interestingly, the little boy does follow some good traits of his Godpa, both being smiley, quiet and extremely easy going =)..

Anyway so the other day, the Godpa popped this one million dollar question out of curiosity, which, indeed made me seriously wonder a bit before I could give a good answer..

So, how much does it cost to have our little baby Rynus?

Before I start diving into the details, let's just look at the comparison here on the cost of having Renzo in 2009, vs. the cost of having Rynus in 2012.

Do note that a single bedder at Thomson Medical Center is a pretty common choice, but my gynae Dr Lim Teck Chye at the Tow Yung Clinic is a famous and reputable doctor who doesn't come cheap. Usually the gynae package costs around S$500 - 1000 and mine was above S$3000, but definitely for a good cause. You will agree with me on that if you have read the birth story of Renzo and Rynus. Medication cost dropped more because I started to understand which are the supplements required so I didn't buy a lot during Rynus' time. And full scan cost also dropped because I did the OSCAR scan during Rynus' time, which was more detailed than the blood test done during Renzo's time.

Were we stressed over the daunting task of accumulating funds before we decided to have 2nd child? In actual fact, nope we weren't. If a couple has a good habit of saving about 20% of monthly income, then it's not too difficult and not to forget, we do get some sort of help from our government. For babies born after 2012, Aug 26, there is a cash gift of S$6000 each for 1st and 2nd child, and S$8000 each for 3rd and 4th child. The payout is much faster than before and you get S$3000 after child birth, S$1500 when baby is 6 months and another S$1500 when baby is 1 year old. For Renzo and Rynus, they received S$4000 each. And during their time, the payout was done in 4 installments from birth to one and half years old. 

Child Development Account (CDA) is a special savings account that you open at any OCBC or Standard Chartered Bank and you can save in this account any time until your child turns 12 years of age. The savings will be matched dollar-for-dollar up to the cap of S$6000 each for 1st and 2nd child, S$12000 each for 3rd and 4th child, S$18000 each for the 5th and subsequent child. The amount sounds huge but in actual fact, we spent the saved S$6000 and matched S$6000 in Renzo's CDA account by the time he turned 3 years old, that's a whooping S$12000 spent mostly on his pretty decent childcare center, for S$520 a month after a S$300 subsidy from government for working mother. I am sure for Rynus, we will get his CDA account wiped out even faster, as this poor little boy gets flu bugs often and each visit to specialist can easily cost us S$200 - 500. Comparatively, the money we spent on his vaccination (about S$550 after S$400 deduction from CPF) at private GP, seems extremely affordable. Cost of the vaccination will be cheaper at polyclinic if you do not mind the long queue and the hassle to take leave during weekdays. And of course doctor visit can be cheaper, or even FREE if you bring your little one to normal GP every time. Like for our case, my company has all my dependents' medical bill covered at panel doctors, but unfortunately, most of the time Rynus can only get recovered faster under the treatment of pediatrician, for that, I can only claim a S$40 consultation fee per visit from my company.

The only one additional financial help I got in terms of having baby, is the S$2000 flexi benefit from my company which could be used to claim for pre-natal, post-natal checkup at gynae's clinic, and delivery charges at hospital (obviously that's not enough to cover everything since my gynae package is way above average ones). And we were also given a one time pay out of S$2000 cash gift for up to 3rd child, both to female employees and spouse of male employees. But in all honesty, such kind of benefit is very rare in the market (another reason why I want to retire here in my current company, LOL).

Of course having kids is not just the money. Many couples have concerns mainly because they do not have a caregiver to look after the baby when both of them need to work.

Hiring a foreign domestic worker will cost you at least S$600 (with S$170 levy going to the government) a month and be prepared to pay a lump sum of S$3000 to the agent before you even get to see your helper in person; a nanny or infant care costs at least S$800 or $1000 respectively, but you do not have the flexibility of sending/picking up your child at any time you want. Getting help from either set of grandparents might be the highly sought after option, but for them to give up their job, or retirement lifestyle to help you at such age, I bet you have to give them even more, and with a guilty heart.

And not to forget some one time "indirect cost" incurred (depending on your own choice though), such as:

- Confinement lady (S$1900 - 2300 minimum), I have not engaged any for both of my confinement, and if you do, only one advice, DO NOT rely on confinement lady to look after baby, take care of baby yourself, especially at night, so that after the confinement lady leaves, you don't get a shock and start panicking about how to deal with your own new born.
- Catered Confinement Food (S$1500+), I only advise to take 1 week or 2 weeks supply if you have the need, which costs S$400+ or S$800+, but if you decide to prepare a nutritious confinement meal with expensive tonics yourself, it will cost you S$600-1200 easily (especially if the confinement lady is the one doing the marketing).
- Tonics for mummy (S$300 - 500), that's just talking about bird nests, is it necessary to have it? Well I only know that my episiotomy wound recovered extremely fast after my 2nd delivery and I could only attribute that to 12 big bottles of bird nest I had during my confinement month.
- Baby stuff including must haves like cot, stroller, carrier, thermometer (S$1100 and above), my only advice to save cost is, not to buy too many things (especially clothes and toys) at one go, invest on one or two items every month and slowly find out what is really needed.
- Full month baby shower (S$300 and above), we did not have any celebration for Rynus, but just the cheapest option of cake vouchers cost us more than S$200. I would think that out of courtesy, getting some cakes for friends and colleagues are definitely essential, but whether to throw in a big party at home or in a restaurant, it's up to individual but always take into consideration that mummy and baby will need plenty of rest at this early stage.

In a nutshell, how much is enough? The more the merrier my friends!!!
But just to be a little more precise, let me try to help out with the calculation here. Assuming the baby bonus of S$6000 is going to cover all the miscellaneous expenses ("indirect costs") I mentioned above, you need to set aside at least S$3000-5000 in cash to cover the checkup and delivery cost comfortably, and of course pray hard for a smooth delivery and healthy baby at the same time.

And every month, you need to fork out a minimum of S$300, to spend on milk powder if you are not able to supply your precious one with breast milk, and on disposable diapers if you do not wish to see your baby waking up frequently from a soiled cloth diaper. Cost on caregiver varies but S$600 is the minimum and so far we still believe hiring a helper is the best solution. Another S$100-200 needs to go to insurance (a good hospitalization plan and life policy or education endowment plan). So a monthly cost of S$1100 minimum on a new born baby, is the amount you have to set aside and maintain for at least 6 years till your child is in primary school.

We are definitely going to stop at 2, and indeed we are more than blessed to have our 2 lovely boys by now. If you are planning for kids, be quick!! Unlike property or car market, you experience crashes and prices come down once a while. Cost of setting up a family is just going to get higher and higher because there's just no way for you to expect a price drop on medical bills or education fees, at least not in our country!

Rynus the little smiley angel

Mummy has been away for a business trip for days and our little Rynus seems to be feeling it a little. Having the occasional blank look towards the gate and randomly calling out 'mama mama ma', in fact, our helper told me that on the third night when Mummy was away, Rynus cried out for Mummy in the middle of the night... haha.. must have been dreaming of Mummy~

But in his apparent i-miss-mummy state, Rynus still has enough attention on his toys and food to distract him and forget that his loving mummy is not within close proximity. He is still eating well and still as smiley as ever and that little 2 teeth that are breaking out of his gym are causing him to wag his little tongue across the bottom of his mouth in the cutest fashion. He used to be a little shy around strangers and when handled by them, would cry (only after he pushes himself far enough to realised it ain't the usual family members carrying him...lol) but recently, seem to be more adaptable to having others handle him, including my out-station brother who visited us recently and a very distant relative from China.

This little one is now full of curiosity and stronger than i previously thought. When placed in his crib which is conveniently (for him) positioned just beside my computer table, he would crawl to the corner and with his little round hands, start fishing for whatever he can grab onto, pens, wallet, coins, envelopes and even my wireless USB stick. And, with his newfound strength, he is able to rock the crib so hard that the crib knocked onto my computer table and caused my little glass bowl (which i use to hold my loose change and other coins) to drop and shatter... mehhh... now it's been replaced by an unglam plastic bag until I find a suitable replacement.

Speaking of new found strength, he seem to be able to sit up much longer than before and is finally about to stand up with support, though he still doesn't have the strength to pull himself into a standing position. But with a little encouragement from everyone, I'm sure he'll be there in no time~!

more flashcards for baby Rynus!!

I am surprised to realize how times flies, baby Rynus is turning 8 months old by end of the month!!

For the past 2 months, he didn't really put on too much weight but remained around 9.4kg due to his bad health. After our visit to Dr Ong Eng Keow on Dec 15, 2012, we had to finally make a trip down to Dr Veronica Toh's clinic at Raffles Hospital, on Jan 16, 2013, as Rynus baby has not fully recovered after 1 month! Indeed his situation got a little worse after he recovered 80% back in Dec, and he's been coughing badly and vomiting frequently after his mid-night feed, that's why we decided to give Dr Toh a try instead, since she's the expert who has a full record of Rynus' medical history.

Anyway as per Dr Toh's accurate estimation, Rynus recovered after 1 week, we visited her clinic twice in a week, and even purchased a nebulizer since it seems that Rynus baby needs that every time he falls sick, the medical bill burned a big hole on our pocket but nothing is more important than his health!!

So now since Rynus is getting very close to full recovery, I started to think about his physical/mental development at about 8 months.

When his Kor Kor Renzo was at this age, he had a total of 5 teeth, but Rynus has only 2 bottom incisors erupting at the moment.

Renzo was able to sit on his own unsupported when he was only 5 months, but till now, Rynus still can't really do that.

Renzo was able to clap his hands, respond to "high five", and recognize a few objects as well as alphabets around this age, but Rynus can't do any of them.

I re-read Renzo's development at month 07 and month 08 and I am really pretty amazed with his progress at that time. I do feel that although our ex-helper Ayeaye is not as good as our current helper Jona, in almost every aspect, in terms of doing housework, looking after baby, and cooking, Ayeaye's efforts and ability to help with Renzo's academic growth, is just indelible!

I took out those flashcards we bought for Renzo 3 years back, and passed to Jona this morning. Rynus didn't seem to be as curious and interested at the moment (he was attempting to stuff the cards into his mouth when I left for work), but I know he will start to absorb more slowly but surely.

Am I worried about his growth? Nope, not at all!! Every kid is different and in fact Rynus crawls and eats a lot better than Renzo. He even knew how to clear his throat by coughing out the phlegm since he was 5 months old, where his kor kor doesn't even know how to blow his nose at 3 years and 5 months old -_-!! And, not to forget that our little Rynus has super sweet personality and brings lots of laughter to everyone inside, and outside the house!!

making friend with nebulizer is no fun!

Our poor little Rynus is down with flu again, yes he was just hospitalized for 3 days in September and now, he got the flu bug from somewhere, somehow, again..

On Saturday, December 15, we queued for 2.5 hours to see Rynus' pediatrician, famous Dr Ong Eng Keow from International Child & Adolescent Clinic, located at Mount Alvernia hospital. We thought about other alternatives like Dr Jean Lim, the PD we frequent most at Rafflies Medical, Tampines One for its convenient location, or Dr Veronica Toh at Raffles Hospital since Rynus has his full medical record with Dr Toh. But in the end, I made the call to visit Dr Ong instead since he's the PD assigned to both Renzo and Rynus since birth. Although they both only went to him once for review as new born, we figured that Dr Ong is extremely experienced from the way he treated the severe jaundice for both boys.

Okay side track a bit here, we all know that Asian babies develop jaundice often around 3-5 days after birth. There is this flower/wood sold at any Chinese medical hall for SGD$1.5-2 per pack, which can be used for 3 times. Grab that to shower your baby by pouring a portion into hot water, wait till the water turns brownish, remove all the flowers/wood from the hot water, add in cold water to make the temperature just right and shower your baby with the water. I bet it works better than sun bathe (not easy during rainy season) or phototherapy (most people do not do it unless advised by doctor after review) to certain extend, at least you can try this before the review on 5th or 7th day.

Anyway back to baby Rynus, his situation was not as serious as the previous time. He only developed some dry cough on the 14th evening, he had pretty bad whizzing and vomited out a bit of phlegm. He had a fever of 38.3 degree on the 15th morning but his fever subsided soon after taking 1ml of paracetamol. Other than that, he looked perfectly alright, not lethargic or cranky like most other sick babies.

We were quite shocked when Dr Ong announced that Rynus got a croup infection and might need to be admitted to hospital. It took Dr Ong less than 30 seconds to come to that conclusion, before he even took out his stethoscope to examine our baby, that showed how experienced he is and made me feel the long wait outside his door is super worthwhile.

Basically croup is a viral infection of the voice box, which causes a dry "barking seal" cough. Dr Ong made an effort to patiently advise a few great tips to us which I find extremely useful for young parents.

1. If you have one and only one child at home, it's extremely common that your child only get sick for the very first time, at the age of one or one and half years old, so do not take that for granted and think that babies won't get sick at a tender young age of a few months old.

2. If your elder child is attending pre-school, chances for the younger one to get infected is extremely high, unless you could separate them at home most of the time. A cough or sneeze from the elder one could get the baby infected easily if he/she did that right in front of the face of your poor little one.

3. You might think baby is just having a normal flu, and there's no fever at all, but PD might advise to admit the baby, why? Because if baby is not having enough fluid, they will get dehydrated. At such a young age, it's better to be safe than sorry.

4. Then how can you tell when to admit the baby as PD only advised to admit if necessary? Monitor your baby carefully, if he/she is not drinking well, meaning wants milk but has to stop during feeding to breathe through the mouth, then don't hesitate because in the hospital, they can put baby on a machine to monitor how much oxygen baby can inhale and if the level drops, it could be pretty dangerous, but at home, there's no way for you to figure that out.

5. When your baby starts to show signs of illness, note down the symptoms and timing. That's the reason why doctors and nurses always start with questions like "how long....??", because if the baby is infected with virus or bacteria, usually the 3rd or 4th day could be the peak period so if you notice that baby is not recovering after that, most likely immediate medical treatment is required.

Rynus was given antibiotics and we have to loan a nebulizer for home treatment every 4 hourly. Luckily when we went back to Dr Ong for review on Tuesday morning, he's almost recovered but we need to give him some other medicine for his loose stool and bad rashes on his buttock. Fortunately, he can finally say byebye to his nebulizer and there's no need to admit him to hospital.

He lost 110gram after being sick for a few days, but overall, he's still a chubby cute boy who's about 9.4kg at 6 and half  months. I seriously think it's time for us to bring his brother Renzo for a flu jab although it won't prevent him from falling sick completely, and an air purifier that kills germs and bacterias in the room, might be a good investment for our family with a preschool toddler and little infant at home.

confinement food catering experience

Traditional Chinese physicians believe that giving birth drains one's energy and blood, which in turn, weaken the health of a mummy. So we have this thing called "confinement period", which helps us replenish ourselves with good nutrition and plenty of rest.

Before I delivered Rynus, I ordered 2 weeks of  post-natal catering food from Natal Essentials. Since I do not have confinement nanny nor mother/mother-in-law to take care of me during my confinement period, I thought it's pretty hassle free to just order my food, as I knew I would be super busy with handling my new born, and cooking my own confinement meals with all types of  Chinese herbs, is just too painstaking.

But now I think back, if  you do get a little help from someone, a maid, a nanny,  or a relative, to settle your meals, then it's all possible to just DIY your confinement food. Problems with catering food (in this case Natal Essentials as that's the only one I've ever tried) are:
- You do not have too much variety, as they repeat the same menu on a weekly basis.
- You will definitely get certain food which you do not appreciate, be it that you don't like the taste and how it's prepared, or you simply do not eat certain types of food.

Of course in general, catering food has many other benefits, especially to first time mummies:
- hassle free, you don't even need to wash the dishes as they pack the food with microwave disposable wares, and deliver to you at your doorstep.
- dishes could look ordinary but they were specially prepared to fit the post-natal bodies, with less oil, salt and no MSG, at least that's what the caterer claimed.
- save you the time and $$ to buy those herbs which can really cost a big bomb.

I was too busy looking after Rynus after my delivery so I didn't manage to take a picture of the food from Natal Essentials. I managed to find a photo online just for reference. As you can see, they provide red dates tea and rice with every meal. The portion is big for me but there were not much greens most of the time.

Anyway my conclusion is, catered confinement food has very tasty soup, but it's just one portion per meal and in fact to boost milk supply, it's still better to take 2-4 times of  soup a day. As for other dishes, you can prepare more flavored ones easily for sure. So, order for the first week if you really need time to adjust to all the new changes, and challenges. Then prepare your own food as long as you have someone to help out with either cooking, or baby..

baby boy? or baby girl?

Baby Rynus is almost 5 months old now, let me backtrack a bit and share the story about how we found out that Rynus is a baby boy..

So, throughout the first 5 months of my pregnancy, the topic I discussed most often with my sister Kelly, was the gender of our babies.

Kelly has a 6 years old daughter Cherry and our Renzo boy is already 3 years old. Of course to certain extend, she would want a boy and I would wish to have a girl this time.We knew it's generally a hit-and-miss affair to predict a baby's gender but we just couldn't take our minds off it.

The first time we got a bit of hint from the doctor about Baby Chan #2's gender, was when I did my OSCAR scan (a test that was not compulsory during Renzo's time) at 3rd month, Dr Lim Lean Soon, the exact same doctor/sonographer who did the full scan for Renzo almost 3 years back, "accidentally" wrapped up his scan test by saying "basically, I can see a very healthy looking... baby GIRL". Daddy Chan and I did not clarify with Dr Lim about how he managed to tell that, and we had an impression that Dr Lim might just mentioned the word "girl" subconsciously, assuming he's been doing the same kind of scan on different tummies all day long, those mummies who did the scan before me could be really carrying girls anyway.  

The second time we touched on the topic of baby's gender, I was having my regular ultrasound scan at Dr Lim Teck Chye's clinic around 4th month, he said "usually if we can't tell the gender by now, should be a baby girl then". We know he was trying to be nice and he's indeed right, because based on what we heard from other parents, most of the time baby boys are easier to be identified at early stage of pregnancy as somehow, they are usually very proud to "show off" their male genitals.

I had a few talks with Daddy Chan before we finally confirmed baby's gender during 5th month full scan. We both genuinely felt that for the benefit of Renzo, having a sibling of same gender will be better as they probably could share similar interests and play well together. And since we both also had more experience bringing up boy than girl, we were just more confident, and comfortable with handling baby boys. Hence although we know that being able to raise up both boy and girl in the family will expose ourselves to a 360 degree spectrum of parenthood, we still believed that having another boy will definitely be a good news to us. The moment Dr Lim announced that we are having another boy, we were all thrilled and there's no sense of disappointment at all. I have to say, there are lots of myths surround gender prediction, but so far with my own experience, mummy's instinct is usually accurate and it's pretty true that mummy's tummy is relatively small (less obvious) while carrying baby boy.

Anyway mummy-to-be, curious about if you are carrying a boy or girl?

The best tip I could share, is to look at your ultrasound scan photo around 13 - 16 weeks. Here's a link with some detailed information about it.
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/pregnancy/antenatalhealth/scans/sexbyultrasoundexpert/

And I put them in one photo for easier reference here. (Tested and proven to be accurate based on 4 babies ultrasound scan photos including my 2 boys and my 2 nieces).










Last but not least, to our beloved baby Rynus Chan, many people were hoping that we could bring a baby girl to the family just for the sake of having both boy and girl and at one point of time, daddy and mummy might have thought that way too but before we decided on your name, we already told each other that we'd love to have another boy and we thank you for coming to the family and brightening up every bit of our lives!!

Shopping guide for first time parents

Being parents for the 2nd time, the biggest advantage we have, is that we are really way more experienced when comes to caring our little one, and shopping for baby is not a hassle anymore because we know exactly what we want, or rather say what baby needs, and it's not a trial and error + wasting $$ game anymore.

When we had Renzo in 2009, we came up with a shopping list after many rounds of revision and still, we had purchased certain items, which are either not practical/effective enough, or completely useless for little Renzo. But this time round, we are a lot wiser, and let me introduce some "must have" items for first time parents!!

1. Shampoo / Thermometer / Baby nose cleaner

First of all, there's this thing called "cradle cap", which is a yellowish, patchy, crusty skin layer that appears on the scalp of new born babies. Renzo had that for more than 3 months and we were not even aware of such a great remedy - Dentinox Cradle Cap shampoo, till we had Rynus this time. This could be purchased from pharmacy or pediatrician at about SGD$12. Looks like a small bottle but it's super effective and can clean up the cradle cap upon a few days of application. After that, you can just use it as a normal baby shampoo. Baby olive oil will do the same trick but I have not tried that.

Thermometer is a must have as infants fall sick easily. We bought a "Cadi Advanced Sensing Thermometer" for Renzo 3 years back for SGD$90, but we ended up chucking it aside because it's always hard to get the reading accurately from the forehead. And eventually after a few frustrating experience of not getting accurate readings, we invested on this BRAUN brand baby thermometer which is probably the most common and popular model used in clinics and hospitals. It's proven to be extremely good. It's not cheap but it lasts for years. If you think it's not necessary to invest on this, just get the most traditional type of themometer because for infants, the best reading is still from armpit with the traditional themometer, which is why if you happens to visit hospital (unfortunately), nurses use that for infants all the time.

Lastly, get a Baby nose cleaner, ours is from Pigeon brand. If your baby is having congested nose, this is the best solution and it's super efficient, give it a try!!

2. First baby toys

I used to think that babies below 6 months old do not know how to play toys, I was all wrong! Get some soft rattles for your little ones and you will be amazed by how fast they can learn to play.

A: This soft rattle is from Japan and can be found at Kiddy Palace. Small infants reflexively prefer to look at high-contrast edges and patterns. So toys in black/white/red catch their attention easily, and it's really soft so I find it most suitable for new borns since they can't grab and hold yet, hence even it it drops and hits the baby, it's not painful at all.

B: This rattle used to be Renzo's favorite, and now Rynus also loves it. So I figured that it must be the  super soothing sound the rattle makes which is very different from most other rattles.

C: Wondering what's so special about this rattle? This design is the easiest to grip for babies' small hands!

D: Kiddy Palace has this type in a big box and they are colorful and loud, serves as a teether but I find it more suitable for bigger babies who are at least about 4 months old and above.

Once baby is able to sit with a bit of support, this stacking action blocks from Fisher-Price become perfect toys for them. The blocks are educational as well as entertaining. Kids love the different colors, and they also learn about cause and effect (press a button - the wheel spins, etc..). Renzo used to spin them with his fingers and laugh non-stop at this age, Rynus is still learning to do that but I can tell he's extremely interested in these blocks.

 

3. Baby Clothes
Spoiled with too many choices? Here are a few tips:
Infant - 3 months:

A: Super easy to wear, and with such hot weather in Singapore, baby can just wear this top with diaper during day time. Problem is that when they start to move a lot, it does not cover/protect their belly button.

B: Great romper especially when you need to bring baby out. Buttons are in front so it's very easy to wear, but the size is up to 3 months of age only and if you have a chubby baby like mine, it will last for no more than 2 months.

Remember not to get too many pieces as they will outgrow super fast!

3 months and above:
A/B: Short and Long sleeves rompers for day and night from Mothercare.Slightly more expensive but they are of really great quality. I was searching high and low for such kind of front button rompers at Kiddy Palace and some other shops, but in no avail. I think Kiddy Palace has such type for 0-3 months infants, maybe they think that 3 months+ babies can support their neck well and those wide neck romper without buttons are good enough. But that's not true, front opening type is still most practical, convenient and comfortable for little babies. You can just get 2 pieces each and it can last for a very long time. I get one size bigger so they can last from 2 months till at least 9 months I believe.

C: Carter's romper set which costs only about SGD16 for 5-6 pieces. The quality is not as good but the material is somehow very cooling. Take note that this is only suitable for babies with strong neck support, or else it's not so easy to wear and might cause some discomfort to baby when you pull it through baby's head. And always remember to get at least 1-2 size bigger as Carter's is "famous" for their small cutting. This piece here for my less than 5 months old Rynus boy, is meant for 12 months old baby, LOL...

Besides the above, Rynus has been benefiting from some other good stuff we bought for Renzo before, as mentioned by Daddy Chan in Renzo's blog post here.

The baby swimming pool is a no no to us as it's time/water consuming and we rather bring him to the real pool for some real fun!

Also, remember to get a good hospitalization plan that covers deductible and co-insurance for your little one, it helps to save you a lot of money for more baby shopping if baby really gets hospitalized one day.