forming a stronger parent unit

On one evening when we were strolling around Popular Bookstore, I picked up this wooden multiplication table board for Rynus, as he's obsessed with the multiplication table recently. Yes when I say he's "obsessed", I really meant he is practising it a few times everyday! We are encouraging our 7 years old Renzo to learn his multiplication table and he's still not very fluent with it after practising for nearly a month, but to our amazement, Rynus has learned about 80% of the entire multiplication table up to 12x12 within about 2 weeks times. And by the end of 1 month mark, he's mastered the entire table.

For record, here's a video of Rynus reciting the full multiplication table from 2x1 up to 12x12. There were a few missing equations as the video exceeded its limit and I had to stop and retake while he's doing his 11x.

So to reinforce his learning, I thought this wooden board must be quite a good idea since it has the questions on one side of the block and the answer on this other side. When I presented it to Rynus that night, he shrieked gaily and claimed, "I love this present, it's awesome!!".

Rynus then spent his entire evening before bedtime exploring his new "toy". Instinctively, he flip over every piece of block before thinking about the answer, the moment he realised he could check his answer at the back of the block. Daddy Chan had to stop him from doing that and show him the correct way of "playing", which is to look at the question, give an answer and then flip over the block to check the answer.

At the end of his play, I was pretty certain that this new "toy" isn't a good idea anymore, because Rynus doesn't seem to focus much on giving correct answers, but instead, he's more interested in flipping the blocks for quick answer. And although I am very certain he can easily recite the entire 9x table, he paused many times and gave the "i-don't-think-i-know" look which left me thinking about keeping this board away, so not to confuse him any further. But I kept my thought under wraps since Daddy Chan was already trying hard to explain to Rynus about how this board should be played.

The following morning, Rynus started to work on the multiplication board again. But this time, he started off by stacking up the blocks and when being questioned, he said he's trying to build a tunnel!

After watching him playing with the blocks for a while, Daddy Chan suddenly turned to me and said, "Let's not control the way he plays with this board, it might not be a bad thing that he's treating it as a toy, maybe that's just the way he learns.". Phew, Daddy Chan surely has no idea what a relief it is for me to know that we are on the same page, again!


Yes it's our habit to share our parenting views, decisions and concerns regularly. During our lunch break or journey home after work, we often discuss about our kids' behavior and how to alter our parenting style in order to help them learn and improve. And of course there are times we agree to disagree. For example, Daddy Chan believes that gaming isn't all bad as kids pick up tribal knowledge through gaming, whereas I have totally zero, ZERO tolerance with kids touching digital devices, let alone games. So even though Daddy Chan plays games, he seldom does that in front of the kids.

I believe in gentle yet firm parenting style and do not encourage scolding and spanking, whereas Daddy Chan thinks that punishment is an inevitable, and necessary part of disciplining young kids. That's obviously the reason why the boys will approach me, who is the softer, more lenient parent to get permission.

So clearly we are different in certain ways. But I am glad that we agree on issues almost all the time, we just have different styles to deliver the message. I don't think it's totally bad for our children to experience that differences, it might help them learn about varied opinions and different ways to view the same situation.

But no doubt, the closer parents are united in morals, character, discipline and behavioral expectations, the better for raising happy, healthy, resilient and rational kids.

introducing digital learning to Rynus for the first time

Remember the famous set of Leapfrog "Tag reader" Books? Being a huge Leapfrog fan family, I couldn't believe we didn't invest on a "Tag reader" pen, but I did borrowed this set of books from my sister when Renzo was 3. And "Casey cat has a hat" is probably the first book Renzo managed to read independently when he was 3+.

So, in less than 2 months time, Rynus is turning 3. Of course I would not miss my chance to put my precious little one to a test, yes, a reading test, just to see how he fares in terms of reading. Again don't get me wrong, I am not interested to compare Rynus with other kids, not even his own brother, it's just a reality check to help me understand him better and see what I can do to help him learn how to read on his own.

He could repeat after me with no problem, but when I pointed at simple rhyming words like "cat", "hat". "bat", etc, he couldn't recognize any of them though he has learned the concept of such rhyming words from Leapfrog "Word Caper" DVD. I am extremely patient with kids and I am extremely good with my phonics (I am not boasting but I learned my phonics well since young and my skill get reinforced after I had Renzo, LOL) . So I am very certain Rynus' "inability to read simple words", has nothing to do with my "high tolerance level", nor "strong knowledge in phonics and blending words". It's pretty obvious that my conventional way of teaching him to read by breaking down the words into syllables and sound them out, is just not working for Rynus! All this while we thought that's the way we taught Renzo to read when he was young, but, we could be wrong.

It took me less than 3 minutes to decide on the next course of action. I went straight to download a simple spelling app onto my android phone, leaving Daddy Chan in shock because he knows that I am not in favor of letting kids hold on to mobile devices. I totally couldn't stand kids with their eyes glued onto digital screens at dining tables so although Rynus is hard to pacify when he's outside, I've never resorted to iphone/ipad. Renzo used to spend a lot of time on ipad educational apps when he was 1.5 - 3 years old, and I had to remove ipad from his daily routine when he started to get hooked onto ipad games after he turned 4. So for Rynus, from day one, I made it very clear that he's only allowed to watch educational DVDs on TV, and that's it.

But this time, I realized my own expectation of getting Rynus to read based on a good book for young readers, doesn't seem to be too realistic and feasible. You might think I am asking for too much from a 3 years old. But in all honesty, I know my kids well and Rynus has mastered his 26 letters and their phonic sounds for at least a year, with my experience in coaching Renzo, I am very optimistic that by now, Rynus should be able to read, well at least simple words like "cat", "hat" and "bat" should not be too challenging for him after a few rounds of practicing. Unfortunately, it didn't quite work out that way and that made me think again, about how Renzo learned to read when he was at this age?!!

The answer is, maybe, just maybe, spelling is the foundation that helps kids to read independently. That's just my thought because through spelling, they get to break down words to first, middle, and last sound (for basic 3 letter words), and blend them together to spell it out, which in essence, helps them to read those words eventually. And the fact is, Renzo has spent at least 6 - 10 months purely on spelling 3 letter words. Here's a video of him doing it on ipad when he was only 1 year 10 months old.

So, for the very first time, Rynus got to experiment a mobile apps. It didn't take him long to figure out how to use a phone though he was struggling a bit with the touch screen at times. He has not really grasped the concept of middle sound and last sound, I can tell he's doing very well with his first sound. I mentioned in Renzo's blog before, most kids learn the concept of first and last sound before they could figure out the middle sound. For now, I only allow him to play with this app for 10 minutes a day, if, and only if he asks for it. Here's a video of him doing his spelling and victory balloon popping!

I have to admit that maybe in this modern era, it's just inevitable to expose kids to modern technologies, and it's even possible that many kids could only absorb well through such kind of digital interface and digital learning. Rynus was bouncing off the walls when he spelt his words out and got rewarded with a balloon. That's something he doesn't get through holding on and reading from a physical book. But of course we are still putting in efforts to read to, and read with him. Over the past decade, the use of technology in children’s education has exploded, and there are now literally thousands of tablet and smartphone apps created to help kids learn in more interactive and entertaining ways. The debate about using apps for educational purposes is still ongoing, but despite any supposed drawbacks for children, I do see the benefits in digital learning so for now, we are just going to introduce educational apps gradually to Rynus' learning routine, of course with proper control..

life has been all good with little Rynus...

Rynus just turned 2.5 years old! Yes time really flies and he has grown so much in the past half a year, though he still pretty much behaves like a baby.

The decision to send him to full day childcare since July, was brilliant, except for the financial burdens of course, as pre-school education is extremely expensive in Singapore. On top of the extra S$680 school fee we need to fork out every month after S$300 government subsidy for working mothers, we are still keeping our helper though her main duty has shifted from caring for Rynus, to purely household chores. Also, I've mentioned before, we are spending almost S$8 dollars daily on cab fare, as neither my mother in law, nor my helper could manage 2 of them with 2 large school bags for almost an hour of bus journey home. Not to forget this little Rynus could put up a stunt of rolling on the ground anytime, anywhere, yes that includes in the middle of the road! I definitely could, yes trust me that's called mummy power! But after a tired day at work, and with the erratic weather here, taxi is the best(fastest) option though not the most economical.

But other than all these, life has been great! We are greeted with cozy house and warm food daily, and after dinner, I get extra 1 hour (saved from the bus journey, or rather from cooking dinner after work) to spend with the kids.

And the best part, Rynus has been doing well in school, and he has learned so much!!

School life:
We had a nice conversation with his teachers during the "meet parents session" last week. Rynus has fully adapted to school environment. Although he doesn't follow instructions all the time, has short attention span, is rather picky on food and often throws tantrums when things don't go his way (sounds like his korkor? Quite!), he still managed to "survive" well for the past 4 months. And his teacher was rather impressed with his enthusiasm with learning alphabets and numbers (sounds like his korkor? Absolutely!).  

Here's one of the observations from his teacher, the "suddenly, Rynus stood up..." part really cracked me up because that's SO OUR Rynus!!!

As expected, he started falling sick more often after he entered full day childcare. Luckily most of the time he takes medicine well, indeed he enjoys feeding himself through the syringe. But he hasn't been eating well at all, he rejects almost all type of food at home, and has been surviving on formula milk, fresh milk, fruit/vege juice and soup most of the time. This is probably the biggest concern I have currently though Renzo had experienced the same phase around this age too. 


And here are more pictures of his wonderful daily life in school..

Home life:
Did I mention Rynus is still having his Terrible Twos? Yes but a rather mild one, especially at home, he's quite an angel. He spends most of his time playing toys and watching TV. Yes I have not imposed any house rule on TV time. I do let them watch daily, especially during weekends. As they spend full 5 days in school every week learning, and playing of course, so time at home is purely fun time! And Rynus has learned such a great deal from TV! He's not interested in cartoons so Disney Junior channel is more for Renzo. Rynus watches Dora the Explorer, Thomas and Friends and whole Leapfrog series.

This is what he did last night while daddy was reading with Renzo, totally out of the blue. He was trying to sing the Leapfrog A-Z alphabet song that sounds like "A says [a], A says [a], every letter makes a sound the A says [a]...", and when he sang "T says [t], Tic Tac, I was rather surprised.

Dora won his heart totally during the past few months and sometimes he shouts Spanish words, such as Azul (blue), Amarillo (yellow), Rojo (red). Renzo loves Dora too when he was at such age, but he wasn't this interactive like Rynus. Even for a brand new Dora disc, it probably takes 15-20 minutes the most, for Rynus to warm up and be able to answer Dora's questions. He learns animals like "Zebra", "Kangaroo", "Jaguar", "Snake", "Iguana", "Rhinoceros", etc all from Dora discs.

I am sure I've mentioned many times that Rynus couldn't really talk much. But for the past one month, he's been mimicking what Renzo says very often. And interestingly, Rynus has quite good sense of humorous like Renzo. When he accidentally stepped on daddy's leg, he said, "sorry Daddy", and when he did it again, he said, "sorry again!". When he instructed me to build his train track, instead of saying, "Thank you, Mummy!", he said, "Well done, Mummy!". He is also as sensible as Renzo to certain extend. On our daily cab ride home, he waves byebye and says "Thank you uncle, see you tomorrow taxi!" each time, but when he notices my conversation with the taxi driver is in Chinese (I do that if the driver is listening to Chinese radio station), Rynus says "谢谢 uncle!" before he gets off the car. And once when I was frowning at Renzo for taking too long to shower, Rynus walked over to me, held my face with his hands, looked into my eyes, then pat my head and said "Don't worry mummy, don't worry!".

Outdoor:
Rynus gets extremely upset when we have to leave him at home with our helper. The last time we had to do that, he refused to talk to us after we returned home. Instead he leaned on my chest and zoned out for a long period of time, I felt that he was angry with me. So recently we've been trying our best to bring him along whenever we go out. He can soon prove to us, it's not the wisest decision because the moment he gets out of the house, he starts running about and it's impossible for him to sit still for a meal even.

We brought him for his little cousin's full month celebration recently, throughout the 3 hours, we had to take turns to run, climb, jump up and down with him outside the restaurant, while Renzo sat by the table enjoying the food. So nowadays bringing Rynus out for grocery or food, is basically a challenge, instead, bringing them for outdoor activities seems to be a much better choice for Rynus. He's not afraid of trying new things and I am sure soon we will need to send him for some swimming lessons as he simply loves water.


So in a nutshell, Rynus has been doing extremely well, except for those occasional rolling on the floor episodes, he's been bringing us so much joy and fun everyday! I shall end this post with the a recent video of him reading his favorite Dora book together with daddy, he finished the story with "The! End!" when he noticed they are at the last page of the book. Little cute cute is a big boy now, and, still just as cute especially his voice!!

Learning from educational DVDs

I've mentioned many times in this blog about the rather slow speech development of baby Rynus as compared to his elder brother Renzo. After he started full day childcare since July 01, we've finally seen some pretty good progress recently.

Just like Renzo, Rynus has been picking up knowledge really fast through educational DVDs. I confess, I do give them ample TV time at home since they are in school the entire day, and they are not given Ipad or Iphone for apps, games, youtube etc. But most importantly, I do see them learning A LOT from just Disney Junior and educational DVDs.

In fact Rynus is not quite a fan of Disney Junior at this age, Renzo only developed his interest since he's about 4. So they both enjoy Thomas&Friends, Dora the Explorer, Leapfrog series and Hi5 the most, well actually they do not have anything else except for some Chinese sing a long song tracks. We only have 3 Dora, 2 Thomas, 1 Hi5 and a bunch of Leapfrog (maybe more than 7) at home, and they could watch again and again without getting bored at all.

About half a year ago, we realized that Rynus has learned all his alphabets and phonics sounds from Leapfrog. He could read the letters with clear articulation, except for letter W. Sometimes, he mixes up the sound of certain letters and their phonics sounds but that's not too big a concern for now. And he enjoys singing ABC or the Leapfrog alphabet song with us before bedtime. Slowly, but steadily, he progressed on to counting numbers. I seriously think both of my boys love numbers, unlike their mother. I still remember how we taught Renzo 1~10, and then 11~20 with a number poster hanging on our wall, but for Rynus, he picked up 1~20 on his own from Leapfrog, almost effortlessly. And whenever he is in good mood, he counts. Initially he often skips a few numbers like 7(for some weird reason many kids skip number 7 when they first learn to count, including Renzo), 13, 14, 16.. But since about 2 weeks ago, he's been doing better and better, and no more skipping of numbers!!

Here's a clip of him happily counting from 1 - 20, though I only managed to take out my phone camera when he's at number 4, and he repeated 15-17 at one point. 

 

If I say Renzo has amused us by memorizing train names and numbers from Thomas&Friends and talking in British accent like the fat controller when he's 2, then Rynus has definitely amused us by interacting with Dora and Boots with zero communication breakdown when he's 2!! Watching Dora DVD with him is probably the most fun and relaxing bonding experience. One moment you see him sitting next to you on the sofa, hiding his head under your arm while staring at the TV, next moment, he rushed to the TV like a space shuttle and "press" the answers on TV as if he's using a touch pad, and before you know it, he's back to the sofa snuggling under your arms again, waiting for the next chance to run to the TV, pretty busy to be honest...

And, once I saw him washing his hands in the washroom and Dora was asking, "Which path should we take, blue, yellow, or purple?" on TV further away in living room, he shouted, "YELLOW!!"... Trust me, he got it absolutely right!!

Though he's been trying to "participate" in the 5-A-Day-Books routine we set up with Renzo every evening, Rynus is still learning most of his stuff through educational DVDs, he can say words like "Icy bridge", "Purple", "Circle", "blue mountain", "mama duck", etc, and some Spanish words too, all thanks to Dora & Boots!!

when will Rynus didi start talking?

This is the question I have been asking myself many many, many many times for the past 2 years. It's quite a challenge to answer a question like this when our elder boy Renzo, started speaking in short sentences since 1.5 years old. In terms of speech development, Our almost 2 years old Rynus, is probably at the level of our 11 months old Renzo, I am not kidding!

Although recently he's been babbling a lot more, the fact is, he's been babbling like this, alright probably slightly less, since he was.. 6 months old? And we were anticipating "baby is going to talk soon" for the past 1 and half years!

I am not too concerned after hearing from many mummies that some kids start talking after 3. Indeed I find Rynus extremely adorable with his "inability to communicate in proper language".

He must be feeling extremely satisfied, or maybe even proud, with the fact that he could understand all of us 100%, but none of us could understand him. And I've probably mentioned this before, his "TERRIBLE TWOS" symptoms are rather mild as compared to Renzo's, or, probably it's not even started because that's the stage kids throw tantrums often because when they try to express themselves, we adults do not understand them well enough. "Express themselves"? Rynus? He's not even willing to open his golden mouth so nope, we do not have much concerns, at least not often.

But this time round, I must give him some credits for being able to sing along the "Leapfrog alphabets song". I've been singing this with him almost daily for a month and his progress makes us feel extremely proud!! Time like this, I can't bring myself to believe that this baby still cannot talk!!

the emotionally smart Rynus

Rynus is turning 2 in about a month time, hooray!!

He's still the forever cheerful and adorable him, keeping everyone entertained by doing absolutely NOTHING! Seriously, I really meant it!! Observing him doing nothing is fun, because he's not able to communicate yet, whenever he looks into your eyes and talks in his baby language that nobody understands, and bursts into laughter for no apparent reason, you will follow him and laugh without knowing why too!

Daddy once said Rynus is not as academically smart as Renzo. He didn't follow korkor's footsteps by achieving most, if not all major milestones a lot earlier than other kids at the same age. Instead, he is rather slower (except for walking) compared to others. I often mention that Renzo has helped us save a lot of money on enrichment classes, so we could use the fund for Rynus, as he seems to know nothing at this moment, when I say nothing, I am referring to alphabets, numbers, phonics, words, sentences, days/weeks/months, colors, shapes, lullabies, poems, etc, etc which Renzo used to know very well at this age.

Of course, I was absolutely WRONG!!

Rynus has distinguished himself nicely from his korkor, by being an emotionally intelligent boy (just like his daddy)!

Well I know it's too early to judge but he seems to have the ability, to perceive his own, and other people's emotion very well. His "terrible twos" symptoms are rather mild. He cries when you do not give in to him but he gets distracted very easily. And most of the time, he understands our emotions through body language or facial expressions, if not verbal communications.

Once Rynus held my hand and walked into the room, he signaled "shhhh..." by putting his little finger around his lips the moment he noticed daddy was sleeping...

Once Renzo shouted he needs to pass urine, Rynus immediately ran into the toilet, turned on the light, and lifted up the toilet seat cover for his korkor (he can't even use the toilet but he knows when korkor needs to use it, LOL...)

Often when I am blending fresh fruit juice, he camps outside the kitchen and rushes in the moment I'm done, and takes out his own cup and tells me, "mama, juice, juice!!"..

Whenever Renzo gets disciplined by us and can't stop crying, Rynus pats on his back and gives us the "please forgive my korkor" look...

Everytime we are about to bring the kids to the pool, Rynus digs out swimwear from his wardrobe, gets sunblock, and takes slippers for everyone (instead of shoes which he always prepares for us before we go out)...

Everyday When he's done with his food, he places (often throws) cutlery back into the sink, and he voluntarily helps Renzo to do the same when Renzo is not in the mood...

When we shouts at him for doing something wrong, he immediately covers his eyes with his chubby little hands, and then opens his eyes big and round under his hands, pauses for a second and goes "Peek-a-boo", how to get angry with him!!! 

He did made some progress and learned his phonics through leapfrog. He's not a book lover like Renzo so the only book that catches his attention so far, is the magnetic alphabet book, he could sort the letters and form the words based on the tips given, very obvious tips though.. And he will say "BRAVO" and clap his hands each time he gets it right.

We didn't manage to capture a very clear video but he can recognize and pronounce "G", "O", "D", "H", "A", "I", "S" from his favorite "Good Habits" poster.

And finally I feel confident in coaching him myself, than relying on enrichment classes, but, of course not now, he needs to take his own sweet time at a slower pace remember?!! 

Rynus the little food lover

What do you think our 11 months old could eat from my plate of food?
.....

EVERYTHING!!

Yes I know my answer will cause many mummies to raise their eyebrows, "no salt and no oil for babies below one years old" is the rule I followed strictly when Renzo was an infant, but for Rynus, maybe the 2nd child syndrome mindset kicked in, I am not that particular about what he eats in general, and I could feed Rynus with any kind of food we have on our dining table as long as it's safe for baby. And another reason why I love to feed him our food, is because this little man is super good at biting and chewing with his 6 tiny teeth, looking at the way he appreciates his food is something we enjoy doing the most.

So on one of the afternoons, when our helper was back to her hometown for one week holiday, I decided to bring Rynus out for a lunch date with mummy. I ordered grilled dory with rice and some steamed vegetables. Rynus was all excited in his baby chair even before the food arrived. He sits in high chair for food at home so he knows immediately that he's going to enjoy a feast the moment I put him into the baby chair at the restaurant. He finished 1/3 of the big dory with a little bit of rice and some broccoli and gave me his signature big sweet victory smile after that.

And there was once when he was nibbling on a whole piece of hotcake at McDonald's, one of the staff approached me and questioned if Rynus is 18 months old, LOL, well, he does looks like a toddler especially when he's eating on his own!

Of course Rynus gets to eat outside food once a while only, I cook his daily meals every morning as home cooked food is always more healthy and nutritious. Here's one of his favorite dishes: noodle with fish filet and baby spinach..

See how much he loves his dinner!!

Rynus and his aunty Jonalyn

It's been a year since our ex-helper, Ayeaye who left us and returned to her hometown Myanmar, time really flies!!

Life has been good after Ayeaye left (complaints from MIL dropped to zero, LOL), till I got pregnant with Rynus. We planned to send Rynus to a nanny (who is my MIL's friend staying a few blocks away from us) initially, but she backed out last minute due to other commitment and we got permission from my in laws to hire a helper, again. 

Somehow I feel that we have quite some luck in finding good domestic helpers. If we say Ayeaye is good, then our new helper Jonalyn from Philippines is definitely as good, or even better, in terms of caring our little baby Rynus Chan.

I always say that Renzo is a lucky boy because I managed to look after him at home till he was exactly 8 months old. And even after I returned to work and left him to Ayeaye, Daddy Chan was working half day till Renzo was about 13 months old. So we never really need to purposely take leave just to bring Renzo for his vaccination, and we didn't miss much of his major development (both physically and mentally) since we spent quite a lot of time with him. On the contrary, I have to leave Rynus to his aunty Jonalyn when he just turned 2 months old, and being the 2nd child, we do not have as much bonding time with him, since we need to give a lot of attention to Renzo especially while he's experiencing his "Terrible Two" stage.

But luckily, Jona being a young mother of a 9 years old boy, is pretty experienced in handling infant, at least in my opinion. I was looking after Rynus 24x7 all by myself during my confinement month. Jona did knocked at my door a few times and offered her help, but I told her to wait till Rynus is a little bigger and forms a better routine. I was a little concerned at first and only left Rynus to her for a few hours to half a day during the 2nd month, but slowly I realized she's really capable of handling Rynus well. Other than feeding him well and playing with him often, she knows how to observe the baby and get his cues. And that makes my life so much easier after I returned to work on Aug 02. The best part is, Rynus really loves her also. I can see so much interaction between the two and they seem to really enjoy it! Jona likes to update me on Rynus' daily progress.

Just this morning, she told me that Rynus seems to have a bit of rashes on his face, which I did not really notice indeed. When I told her I will apply some cream for him at night, she immediately verified with me which cream am I going to use so that she could just apply for him since I am rushing out to work. That makes me believe that she really cares a lot about our little boy. I recalled there was a period of time Renzo always wanted his Aunty Ayeaye instead of mummy, I am sure Rynus will be even more clingy to our helper, that can make me quite upset sometimes but for now, I am appreciative to what Jona is doing for him, and us.

Look at how much fun they are having together here!!